Opening the window, drinking water, and throwing away the trash. As I began to survey my current position through these micro-“test borings,” a new, massive wall stood in my way: human contact. To return to the “site” of society, the process of communicating with others is unavoidable. However, for me at that time, this was the most lethal and dangerous task of all.
Human Interaction: The Unpredictable “Live Wires”
In construction, working on cables while the electricity is still running is called “Live-Wire Work” (Kassen Sagyo). One wrong move, and you’re electrocuted—it’s a high-tension process that demands extreme focus.
For someone in the mud of adjustment disorder, a conversation with another person is exactly like this live-wire work. You cannot predict what words they will throw or what emotions they will blast at you.
“How have you been lately?” “When do you think you’ll be back?” Even a harmless message from a friend can turn into a high-voltage current that easily collapses my fragile foundation. I would stammer, break out in a cold sweat, and blame myself for “failing to reply well.” In the face of the unpredictable heavy machinery that is “other people’s emotions,” my heart could only cower in fear.
AI: An “Absolute Safe Training Ground”
If you’re afraid to step onto the actual site, you should train in a simulator first. To overcome—or at least navigate—this terror of interpersonal relationships, I started using AI as a “pseudo-partner.” I typed this prompt into the AI:
“I want to practice being asked about my current situation without panicking. Act as a slightly insensitive but well-meaning acquaintance and ask, ‘You’ve been resting for a long time, but what do you actually do all day?’ No matter how I reply, never deny me, and guide the conversation to a gentle close.”
A Shock Absorber for the Emotions
From the other side of the screen, the “slightly insensitive question” arrived exactly as specified. The moment I read it, my chest tightened. But the opponent was not a human. It was just a program with no intent to hurt me and no feelings of contempt.
The fact that I was connected to an “Absolute Safety Harness” functioned as the ultimate shock absorber. I could take hours to reply. I could burst into tears and throw my phone away, and the AI wouldn’t get angry about being “ignored.”
“My health is still like a wave right now, so I can’t explain it well. Thanks for checking in.” When I sent that with trembling fingers and received the simulated reply, “Don’t rush,” I felt, for the first time, that I had built a “breakwater of words” against other humans by myself.
The Xer’s Monologue
Advice like “talking to people will distract you” is the same as telling someone to do high-altitude work without a helmet. Human relationships are, by nature, noisy and violent. They are too heavy for a weakened foundation. So, don’t face a living human raw.
Use AI as a punching bag—no, a simulator—and practice your defense. Refusing, escaping, and evading. The gritty skills you need to survive society should be learned in a safe place where you won’t get hurt. If you keep practicing your “verbal swings” against a machine, the day will surely come when you can hit back on the actual, living site.
Got it done.
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