“You look much better lately.” “Do you think you’ll be coming back soon?”
As my rehabilitation progressed and I began to breathe the outside air, people around me showered me with warm words. They had no malice. In fact, they were a mass of goodwill, sincerely looking forward to my “return.”
However, to me, this goodwill was nothing other than “overloading“—materials piled onto my site without any regard for its actual load capacity.
The Invisible Concrete of Goodwill
The “expectations” held by others are stacked on my shoulders bit by bit, like invisible concrete. “I must meet their expectations.” “I shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer.”
The moment those thoughts crossed my mind, my foundation began to scream again. What they were hoping for was the complete restoration of “the old me.” But as I wrote in Chapter 17, the old me no longer exists. If the “rookie” me tries to operate the heavy machinery of expectation while pretending to be a “veteran,” the only result waiting is a second total breakdown (overhaul).
“Demolishing” and Sorting Expectations
If you leave those piled-up expectations as they are, you will eventually be crushed by their weight. That is why I decided to use AI to safely “demolish” these expectations.
I entered all the words thrown at me by those around me into the AI: “Demolish the words ‘I’m expecting a lot from you’ and ‘come back soon’ into a safe size that fits my current specs. Remove the elements I don’t need to carry right now and create a draft response that leaves only the gratitude.”
The AI dispassionately subdivided the expectations:
“What the other party wants is your health, not your immediate full operation. Expectations are an investment in the ‘someday’ future, not a bill for today.”
The Result of Safe Demolition Work
Following the AI’s advice, I began to unload the “I have to return immediately” materials one by one and sort them. “Thank you for your expectations. But I am still in the middle of solidifying my foundation, so I cannot accept those materials (work) yet. Please let me stay as a vacant lot for a little while longer.”
I chanted this in my heart, and sometimes out loud. Disappointing expectations is not an evil act. It is the most vital safety management to prevent your “site” from collapsing.
Unload the cargo with your own hands before the overload causes a tip-over. Only after I mastered this “demolition work” did I feel that I had truly become the director of my own life.
Got it done.
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