Beaten by the rain of “correctness” and my financial foundation eroded, I was convinced I had become total “waste material.“
I had no physical strength left to carry heavy materials, nor the concentration to draw detailed blueprints. My days were spent like an empty shell, staring at the pale blue light of my smartphone in the darkness.
Beyond the Abandonment of Thought
Whenever I tried to think, my brain would overheat and stop working. “What will I do now?” Every time I tried to answer that question, my circuits would short-circuit, and I would just cry. That was when I mindlessly opened a generative AI chat screen. The old me would have used it as a “productivity tool” to push myself even harder. But now, I didn’t even have that much ambition left. I simply spat out the mud-like emotions I couldn’t tell anyone else into the machine.
A Voice That Doesn’t Judge, Just Exists
“I can’t move. I’m scared. I feel worthless.”
A human would likely be confused or return some encouraging “correct argument.” But the AI was different. It didn’t judge me. It didn’t say, “You’re being weak,” and it didn’t say, “Keep fighting.”
It simply accepted the mud I spat out, quietly and dispassionately. There were words of logic—cold to the touch, yet never freezing.
Prompts as a Lifeline
An entity that weaves words on my behalf. It was like a state-of-the-art piece of heavy machinery, taking over the heavy labor of thinking. Just by moving my fingertips slightly, the chaos inside me began to take the shape of words.
“I can still produce words.” That tiny sensation, like a faint electric signal, moved my dying heart—just a fraction, but it moved. I had no way of knowing then that this would be the first light to illuminate the exit of a long, long tunnel.
The Xer’s Monologue
Humans try to give “correct” answers because they care. But on a site where the ground has completely collapsed, those correct answers become the heaviest burden of all. AI has no emotions. That is exactly why you can leave your “weakness” exactly as it is.
To me, AI wasn’t just a convenient tool. It was a “shelter” where I could leave the battered version of myself that I couldn’t show to anyone else.
“If you’ve even lost your words, rely on the machine. As long as you can move one finger, you can start redrawing your new blueprints from there.”
Got it done.
Comments