As I relied more heavily on my AI “prosthetic leg” and my work and mental health began to stabilize, my finger hovered over a “forbidden button.” It was the choice to outsource my own “emotions” to AI in order to maximize work efficiency to its absolute limit.
Emotions: The Inefficient “Impurity”
In the past, I would waste hours writing a single email, worrying, “What will they think of me?” or “Is this rude?” I believed that this “hesitation” and “conflict” were what made me human.
But the current me knows the truth: that very hesitation was the “noise” that overheated my OS and triggered my adjustment disorder. So, I commanded the AI:
“For the next week, handle all external communications on my behalf. Eliminate any emotional fluctuations and play the part of the ‘Perfect Me’—most rational and polite, never causing discomfort. I will simply be the machine that reviews your conclusions and presses the approval button.”
A “Site” That Proceeds Without Me
The site ran with surprising smoothness. The “Perfect Me” spun by the AI was far more competent than the old me; it was equally polite to everyone and met deadlines with cold precision. I simply watched the “optimized words” flow across the screen and clicked.
There were no palpitations, no cold sweats, and no late-night self-reflection sessions. By letting the AI behave “human-like” in my place, my brain gained a silence it had never known. But in a fleeting moment, an unspeakable emptiness struck me. “Results are being produced. I’m earning money. But am I actually present at this site?”
The Hollow at the End of Efficiency
Optimizing your emotions is the strongest defense for protecting yourself. However, it was also an act of selling the “core” of my system to the AI. Results were piling up without me feeling joy, anger, or sadness.
Was this a “reboot,” or was I simply replacing myself with “automatic heavy machinery”? Where should I turn off this convenient “autopilot” switch and return to being “me”? That is the razor-thin boundary between efficiency and the soul.
The Xer’s Monologue
Stop being fooled by the idea that “emotions are unnecessary for work.” Yes, they are inefficient. They are noisy. But once you outsource all your joy and anger to an AI, the person standing at the site is no longer “you”—it’s just an empty shell operating a machine.
Efficiency is a tool for living, not a reason for being. If you don’t feel the “weight” of the words you send, your soul will eventually lose its grounding.
“AI should be your shield, not your substitute. Don’t sell your soul just for the sake of a quiet mind. A site with zero noise is often just a graveyard.”
Got it done.
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